Musings of Jeff Silvestri

Trust

2010-12-19T23:23:00.000-08:00

My daughter crawls across the room to me. She grabs onto my legs and clumsily pulls herself up. Of course, she wants me to pick her up. I reach my hands down towards her, but in the split second before I actually grab her arms she lets go and throws her hands straight up.

She's wobbly.

She's all alone.

She's put her trust in me and knows I won't let her fall.

In this journey of life there are many times I've felt clumsy, wobbly or even all alone. Have you ever been there?

Through my daughter I believe that Christ has tried to show me how simple it really is. I'm the one that has made it complex. He will always be there and will never let me fall. In the times I feel like I'm wobbly or all alone He has proven many times over that He'll always be there.

So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]. Isaiah 26:4 (Amplified Bible)

For me this verse is easier quoted than done. I haven't mastered it yet, but each day I learn to trust Him just a bit more. Maybe it took a little girl named Gisele to bring it home. She's teaching me how to have childlike faith.

What are some ways that you've learned to trust God? Do you have any examples? I'd love to hear from you.

Gisele's 1st Birthday

2010-12-16T00:14:00.000-08:00

As I type this it has now struck midnight here in California. That would mean it is now officially my daughter's first birthday.

I can't believe how fast the year went by, so I just wanted to say a few things on the chance that Gisele will someday read this.

Gisele McKenzie,

I love you. You mean the world to me. I'm so thankful for the day that God brought you into our lives. You've been an amazing baby. You sleep a LOT, so that makes it easy on your mother. You have such a great temperament. You've been so awesome as we pack you around all over the country and Southern California. I love to watch you dance to most any music you hear. I love to hear you say "da da da" and crawl to me as fast as you can when I come home from work. Pretty soon you'll be walking and talking and I'm sure you'll be miss independent. However, for now you've recently become a daddy's girl and it melts my heart. I could go on and on, but just know that you will always be my baby girl. I love you and am praying that you have another healthy and amazing year, just like year number one.

Love,

Daddy

Thankful

2010-12-04T23:52:00.000-08:00

It's been several months since my last post. Almost a year to be a little more precise. I never realized how much time a child would occupy. I wouldn't trade it for anything though.

Finally, here I am once again with my random thought for the day. I'm thankful.

"We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning." -Albert Barnes

This quote best describes my sentiments today. Life doesn't always work out how I think it should, but I have nothing to complain about. I know in the end He will never leave me and for that I'm thankful. There's no better life to live.

Forgiveness

2010-01-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

Weakness in another person can be contagious. One good way to catch that weakness is with resentment.

The best way to avoid taking on the weakness of others is with forgiveness. Forgiveness frees you to be strong and to look forward. What others may have said or done or failed to do cannot be changed now. What you can do now is begin moving beyond the pain with sincere forgiveness.

With forgiveness, you are no longer a victim. With forgiveness, you take control of your own destiny.

Forgiveness does not mean you support or endorse what happened. Forgiveness means that you are bigger than what happened and confident enough to move past it.

After all, in order for us to receive forgiveness from Christ, we must first forgive others.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV)

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; Luke 6:37 (ESV)

Forgive, and stop poisoning your own life with the past transgressions of others. Forgive, and feel the strength of your own integrity.

Gisele Sleeping

2009-12-21T21:22:00.000-08:00

We thought this was hilarious.

The New Addition

2009-12-21T18:34:00.000-08:00

Most of you are now aware that our baby girl was born this week on 12/16/09. Her name is Gisele McKenzie. It has been such an amazing and eye opening experience. Words would not even be able to begin describing it. In short, it is more awesome and thrilling than I could have ever imagined. I instantly fell in love with her. As they had her under the "heat lamp" giving her the first bath, she was flailing around and crying. As she was crying I put my hand out and she instantly grabbed on to my finger. This single act stole my heart. I love this little girl so much. I'm sure as time goes on I will have more profound things to write about with her, but for now, this is it. I'm hooked. I love being a dad.

Below are a few pictures of this amazing day:

Rage Against the Machine

2009-12-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

You owe it to yourself to check out the following blog: "Rage Against the Machine" at http://www.livingclear.net/livingclear/blogger.html. Great post.

New Pictures

2009-10-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hi all, some have asked about news on the pregnancy. All is going well. The due date is still set for December 24th, but of course it's all "subject to". We are excited and nervous all at the same time. It's definitely a new venture for both of us but we're looking forward to it.

We were fortunate to have a photographer friend take some shots of Katrina and I recently. Yes, my wife is still beautiful even while she's pregnant. Below are a few of the pictures. You can check out Moments In Time Photography by Nikki Evans for scheduling or more information.

Thought For The Day

2009-10-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

pur⋅pose [pur-puhs] noun: the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

What is my Purpose?

What am I doing to fulfill my Purpose?

These are questions I've been asking myself of late. It's persistent. I can't get away from it.

I'm tired of floating through life. Being selfish. There is my confession for the day. I'm a selfish person. Thus, I believe that is the reason God is working on me. Selfishness has to be thrown out the window.

I have determined to make changes in my life. I will do my best to go the extra mile for someone else. I will perform random acts of kindness. I will do my best to serve my community around me and shine the light of Jesus. I will not worry about my "comforts" and my "needs". These are small changes to start, but ones that need to be made. This should ultimately lead me to total commitment to His cause. After all, that's what it's all about. That is my Purpose.

So, I will ask you today:

What is your Purpose?

What are you doing to fulfill that Purpose?

Timeless Song

2009-09-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

The other night before going to bed I was going to plop down on the couch and enjoy some "visual entertainment" and relax. Before doing that however, I got online real "quick" to peruse through a few blogs. While reading through a blog of a good friend I came across the video below. I had not seen this in a while. Needless to say, I never got back out to the couch. I replayed this video for the next hour and a half as God's presence filled the room. I couldn't move. He reminded me again how awesome He really is. Maybe it will have the affect on you. Enjoy.

Not Forgotten

2009-09-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

You feel like you're all alone. You feel like nobody understands. You feel like your family (if you have one) doesn't care. You feel like your friends (if you have some) really don't get it. You feel like God (you DO have one) has failed to remember who and where you are.

I'd like to give you some encouragement today. Your God does know you. He knows you better than you could even imagine. I've learned this first hand. Through trial and error. Through past and current experiences. There have been countless times that I felt like God didn't care about me. I've had "friends" turn their back on me. Family deserted me. I've been broke, without a dollar to my name. Yet somehow, every time, when I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself and moping around He was there to speak to me. Of course, because I'm a control freak (also mentioned in a previous post) I didn't always hear Him. Here I am trying to control and manipulate the situation and He's just waiting for me to take my hands off it. Once I finally realize this, He reminds me that I am not forgotten.

If you're one of those that feel like God has forgotten you, please don't give up. He loves you. He knows you. He hears your prayers. Take your hands off of it and let Him do it. I promise you, He will always take care of you. I'm still learning this every single day of my life.

You are not forgotten. He DOES know your name.

SoCal Fires

2009-09-02T07:07:00.000-07:00

As the SoCal fires continue to rage, let's remember to keep the firefighters and affected families in our thoughts and prayers. Depending on which report you see/hear/read these fires could last a few more days or maybe up to 2 weeks. They've burned hundreds of thousands of acres.

In the middle of all the media coverage, dynamic video footage and incredible pictures there are lives being devastated. One victim lost a house he had lived in for almost 30 years and had raised his children in. The news crew had the camera and microphone in his face trying to get the "latest scoop", looking for the top ratings. As a man, of course he was doing his best not to cry on live television, but he was hurting.

However, he is not the only one. There are dozens of other families that are now displaced and potentially more before it's finally over. Yes, these are all material things that can and will eventually be replaced. But there is also two firefighters that will never come home. They lost their lives trying to protect others. This has not gone unnoticed, nor should it. Those men were very selfless and I'm sure those that live in the affected areas are very thankful.

As Christ-imitators, are we doing anything to help? We pray for them of course, but that doesn't cost us more than a few minutes of our time...if that and then we go on about our business until the next news report. Yes, the Red Cross and other organizations will be there to assist, but are WE doing anything? It's easy to sit back, look from afar and let someone else do it. When will we get ourselves involved? When will we get off our collective lazy butts? When will we actually focus on someone other than ourselves? Maybe there are some doing just that right now. I hope that is the case, or we're missing an opportunity to be more Christ-like.

LifePoint Community posted something on Facebook and Twitter yesterday that I think is applicable:

It is amazing how selfishness governs our lives; how many excuses we will make to avoid trouble or expense in relieving others. Remember the parable of the good Samaritan. It is a beautiful explanation of the law of loving our neighbor as ourselves, without regard to race, gender or any other distraction. As Christ-imitators, it is our duty, in our places & according to our ability to help those in distress.

It's time for us to finally put up or shut up, and I'm pointing the finger at myself. Lord, let me truly be more like you.

You can follow LifePoint on Twitter or Facebook (login to facebook and search for LifePoint Community).

Book Recommendation

2009-09-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello blogger nation,

A friend of mine (whom a lot of you probably know) recently wrote a book and I'd like to recommend it to you. It is called "Clear". It is not a hard read and I believe it will only enhance the life of any practicing Christian. It would be a great addition to your library. It is a book that will challenge you, stretch your thinking from the norm and help open you up to a whole new walk with God, through transparency. Living "Clear".

You can purchase the book online at http://livingclear.net.

**The above comments warrant no monetary compensation or any type of commission whatsoever for myself (just thought i'd throw that in). This book is just that good.

Happy reading!

Thought For The Day

2009-08-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

As has been the custom for the last little bit, I took a trail ride through the mountains near my house yesterday afternoon. I rode alone this time as the others were not able to go. Besides keeping an eye out for the mountain lions it was a thoroughly enjoyable time. I even saw some deer. Bambie is still alive and well!

Every time I'm able to get out into God's creation I am amazed. Even the smallest things blow my mind. The old trees. The creeks. The rocks. The boulders. The animals. The hillsides. The mountains. It all reminds me just how thoughtful my God is to every little detail. It then brings to mind, if He would pay attention to the details of all of these other things, how much more would He pay attention to the details of my life? Which reminds me of this passage:

^{Matthew 6:29-31 (The Message)}
^27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

^30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Pastor Morgan delivered a message from God yesterday that truly hit home. I felt like it was just God and myself all alone in the room and He was speaking directly to me. He told me to stop analyzing every small detail of my life and quit trying to control everything (I've been known to do this from time to time). God was trying to tell me to stop planning every little detail of my life out and leave at least a little bit up to Him. I'm thinking that He might have a little bit more experience than myself so maybe that's a good idea.. After all, I am flawed and more often than not I trip and fall. However, from times past, I know that He will always do what's best for me. He will always take care of me.

Father, I want to stop trying to tell you what to do. You know much more than I do. Thank you for letting me see this once again.

Searching

2009-08-29T12:18:00.001-07:00

How precious how lovely
Are your thoughts oh Lord toward me
How truly amazing
Is the grace that You have shown
Oh Majesty I live to see Your face

I will search for You
And I will find You
I will find You with all my heart
I will lift my hands to You in worship
And I will worship with all my heart

How gracious relentless
Is the Father's love toward us
Breathtaking the beauty
And the radiance of You
Oh Majesty I live to see Your face
And be transformed
Into your image

Music has always been a big part of my life. I began playing the drums at 8 years old. My immediate family all plays music or sings. Quite a bit of my extended family also plays some type of musical instrument and/or sing. I do not claim to be any type of professional musician so we'll get that out of the way first. Nonetheless, I love music. My wife knows this first hand. I enjoy turning up a good tune while driving in the car and most likely bang on the steering wheel like it is my drum set. Drives people nuts. However, there are times that certain songs get to me and I don't even have the strength to play air drums.

The above song is one of those.

I've been raised around spiritual things my entire life. Yet, here I am at 31 years old and most times I feel like God is 100,000,000 miles away and I don't truly know Him. I feel like I've let my family carry on a relationship for me. I've relied on the relationship my Pastor has with his God. I've let my friends do all the work. Until I hear a song like this. It blows me away and I realize just how close God is to me. I weep as I type this because God's presence has just totally overwhelmed me. It is at these times that I know that He is with me.

I am not a person that deserves His grace. Yet, He shows it to me daily. I've trampled over forgiveness time and time again and yet there He is to embrace me once more. I've failed Him so many times I've lost count, yet for some reason He never leaves me. How lovely His thoughts are towards me. It's hard for me to imagine that He does not think ill of me. Really, how truly amazing is the grace that You have shown me. Oh Majesty, I live to see Your face. His love is gracious and relentless towards me. This is hard for me to accept. I will admit that. At times I am harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. I do not forgive myself for times past. Yet, He is telling me that my transgressions are removed as far as the east is from the west.

Psalm 103:11-13 (ESV)

¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹²as far as the east is from the west,
   so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
¹³As a father shows compassion to his children,
   so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

It is because of this unwillingness on my part to accept forgiveness from the One who actually died for my sins that I feel 100,000,000 miles away. I'm starting to come to that realization. Lord, I will search for you. And if I search for you, I will find you. It's that easy. It's at a time like this that I can't help but lift my hands in worship to Him. With my whole heart. Once again, God has proven to me that He is so perfect. I am on a quest to know Him better. To know Him for myself. I am searching.

Thank you God for your relentless love and your willingness to use such an imperfect vessel.

My Prayer For Today

2009-08-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

"To think clearly without hurry or confusion; To love everybody sincerely; To act in everything with the highest motives; To trust God unhesitatingly."

- Helen Keller

Baby News

2009-08-27T23:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is true. I am going to be a dad. There are some that are teasing me and saying it's now payback time. You're most likely right. I'll be honest, when my wife and I were dating and first got married we discussed having kids and I always said that I wanted ZERO. Of course, I'm the man so that means what I say goes right (this is a joke for those that don't know me well enough)? That's what I've stood by almost my entire life. I did not want to have kids. Well, I also didn't want to get married and we see how that turned out. :) So, needless to say, earlier this year I finally brought the topic up again. My wife was shocked that I would even mention it. I guess always hanging around with friends that have 2.4 million kids it started to rub off on me a bit. We moved past that and once we found out that we were expecting I was asked what I wanted. Boy or girl? Of course I wanted a boy, although I would tell everyone it didn't really matter. A boy would have been someone I could rough up, pass on my passion for baseball, get dirty with and do all the dad/son things. God is certainly funny when it comes to what I want. He decided I would be better off with a girl. On top of me already panicking because I'm certainly not fit to be a father, I will now attempt to raise a girl. It will truly be a learning experience. After a bit of time I've now come to embrace it. I'm looking forward to our baby girl being born this winter. God also thought it would be hilarious to give us a due date of December 24th. My timing is absolutely impeccable. To sum it all up, the wife and I are very excited and a bit nervous, but will soon have a child in the house. I believe God is finally trying to teach me not to be so selfish. I'm learning. It's a journey, but I'm learning. Thank you God for this gift.

Welcome

2009-08-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

Welcome. I've decided that I will attempt to join the blogging world. This will most likely include random thoughts and events in my life. Check back later for my musings. Peace!